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a little update on whats been going on these days. to be frank it hasn't been all that great but thats not an excuse to be moping around.
i was having a few hard times through out the month. since its slowly coming to an end for February, theres a lot going at the moment.
for instance, i'm doing my driving lessons to finish up the hours of practice and i'm going to college in less than 2 months. its really insane to think about how everything is moving super duper fast. i still feel that high school girl vibe in me, the feeling that nothing is really happening yet.
i find it hard myself to think i'll be going to college. i'll have to either way, its just the concept of time thats got me whacked
things at home haven't been that stable either, but thats not something i want to go into deep detail on the internet.
its another major factor to why i've been crappy and bitchy the last few days.
i sincerely apologise to anyone and everyone that i've ignored or treated like crap, honestly i wasn't myself.
i do feel horrible that i become an entirely different person when i'm just not feeling it. not only do other people start to get annoyed by me but i start to hate myself too.
its completely understandable.
sigh...
i had a really good sleep, didn't wake up once.
crying does the trick, if not, sleeping pills? finished mine.
so after i got up this morning, i was still starting to feel crappy.
then i just had a sudden spark to just try and make things better.
honestly, i realised that the only person thats dragging me down is myself.
so here i am.
i made tiny changes to my everyday life. i changed my profile picture to a picture of me and Amber
that made me happy. i love her
my ultimate goal now is to make myself happy. self happiness is so much more important than anything else.
when you're happy, you make the people around you happier.
to not complicate things and deal with whatever i have to deal with with an open heart.
the past has come and gone
i can't keep hiding behind the shadows hoping for someone to rescue me
no one will. so you rescue yourself.
when will i ever find someone who will actually mean what they say..
maybe now, maybe never.
its not that kind of fairytale at all.
this is self help.